Uncertainty and fear continues

This has been a rough sort of week. Last week, early on, my grandfather asked me over the phone to cover some books. Not something I wanted to do, nor something I expected to be particularly good at doing - although book covering was covered in my classes, that was only a couple of hours in 2007 or 2008. But I suppose what he wanted was me to come visit again (as we'd been over on Boxing Day) and interact with him, and I didn't feel good about refusing, so I agreed. Even though he joked about charging me for the privilege. >_>

My family were going out that way anyway on Thursday, to go shopping with his partner and to 'babysit' him while she was out (his health makes such an outing difficult) so I tagged along with them and we bought some supplies on the way. The actual covering went well enough, about as I expected, so it was passable. That is not what has made this a rough week, however. Just something which happened.

On Friday morning, I went to the bathroom after some masturbation and noticed I was leaking blood from my urethra. I hadn't experienced any pain, and this wasn't a case of blood in urine - I wasn't urinating. But I looked down and noticed an amount of blood estimated as similar to that taken in a vial for blood pathology leaking and staining my leg and parts of the toilet seat. There had been a similar incident with not so much blood a couple of weeks previously, but I hadn't seen myself bleeding at the time so I was unsure if that had actually been my blood or if I hadn't noticed it.

Obviously, I cleaned all that up. Went back to my computer to express via IM to my spice my concern about my well-being and intention to see a doctor when... I fainted. Woke up screaming and half-fallen out of my chair for some reason; apparently I woke my sister, who volunteered me a glass of water. Had a few happy moments where I thought maybe I had only fainted, and all that with the blood some kind of dream, but the message I had started typing was still there.

Noticed I was sweating quite a bit, and feeling shaky, so that I didn't dare try to move for a few minutes. Eventually I decided I ought to have breakfast to strengthen myself. Went and attempted that, had to lean on the bench a bit to steady myself, and sit down with another glass of water.

I did not tell my mother about all that, because even thinking I had merely fainted - probably from a combination of dehydration overnight and panic - she presumed it must be some complication due to HRT. I don't trust her with further details.

Called my local GP's office, but was too late at ~10:00 to get in to the morning session, had to wait until 14:30 to call again. So, called the library and told them I wouldn't be able to make my shift that afternoon. Had a lot of debate with myself about that, because I felt I would have been able to get there and perform my duties well enough. Ultimately decided I should prioritise my health.

Got in to see my GP in the afternoon, was called on to provide a urine sample for testing, of course, and prescribed a course of antibiotics as a precaution. Had some pain peeing for the next day or so.

On Monday afternoon I got a call from my GP's office saying the test results had come back. The news was "It's not urgent, but he wants to see you". What with it being so late in the day, and my doctor not working the next day and me being working that day anyway, I couldn't get in to find out these results until Wednesday morning, yesterday.

The good news was, there was no trace of any infection, so I could stop taking those antibiotics once they ran out. The bad news is, referral for a renal ultrasound to inspect for some other cause. Although, he remained optimistic that it is nothing serious, merely the sort of thing which happens occasionally and portends nothing more than itself.

The exam itself was this morning, and rather uncomfortable for having to drink a litre of water an hour beforehand. The results will be available tomorrow morning, but as I am working all day tomorrow, I will not know them for some days yet.