A ramble a week late


I don't like that I've fallen back into starting diary entries, not finishing them, and leaving them abandoned. There is a good chance this will become another. It feels weird that life is both too much and yet it also feeling as though nothing is happening. I don't really believe that is a paradox, although it does feel like one. The mundane of life builds up and I have difficulty making space for the dream.

In fact my life isn't that hectic, so although I believe our lives are shaped and pressured into desperations which keep us too frantic for survival to do much beyond creating value for others and zonking out, much of my own problem is I suppose that technically I'm disabled? Or disability-adjacent anyway. Being certainly autistic and perhaps also ADHD makes it difficult to perform needful things effectively and to organise my time. So I feel like I could do more (that I wish to do).

Lately I have been interested in keeping a wiki as a structured and interlinked repository for my notes and projects. First I tried Instiki  but was stymied when the build instructions failed - it looks like there is a problem either with the script they provide for windows or with the rubyinstaller tool. Easier to believe the problem is with Instiki as rubyinstaller is surely more widely used, and it wouldn't be acceptable if that just did not work. I'm hoping to pick at these and untangle them into something that does work for me, but the difficulties I described in the previous paragraph mean I'm not findign that easy to do. Meanwhile I'm trying out dokuwiki and zim, which were both straightforward installs.

It became much easier to find channels within my followed list on twitch when I realised that like all corporate social platforms, it would be structured to incentivise addictive engagement. A simple way to pursue this goal is to try and maximise the opportunity for diverting me into impulse watching by placing recent subscriptions and channels I've been watching VODs on at the bottom of the offline channel list. And of course the ones actively broadcasting are at the top, sorted by popularity. So far this hypothesis is holding up well.