Time Off
Two nights ago my vacation started. I've set aside two weeks of time away from work, away from software training and IT consulting. I'll be spending part of it with a friend in Seattle, and the other half at home. You would think that I'd be thrilled for this opportunity to relax, to unwind, to recharge for the next round of professional tasks. You'd think that.
Instead, I'm absolutely dreading it.
Years ago I would spend the days and weeks prior to a vacation imagining what I would do with my reprieve from the working world. I'd often use it as an opportunity to make a push in the development of one of my current projects. If I were lacking an "active" project, I'd start one anew. The end result was to work myself into a blissful creative exhaustion.
Thinking about this, there was really only one time this actually worked. Over a decade ago, after months and months of thought and design, I spent three wonderful days attempting to write a video game.
It was early in what became a five year effort. At the time I was creating a MYST-clone set in cyberpunk world of virtual reality. I was coding in C++ on MacOS 7. I started with almost nothing, but ended in a small program that would navigate a single stationary node of the game world. It responded to interface events, displayed graphics with special effects. I can't remember if the program was able traverse multiple nodes, but it was certainly an accomplishment with my developing programming skills.
By Monday night of the three day weekend, I was exhausted yet nearly euphoric with success. I was amazed how much I accomplished in those 72 hours. With only a little bit more time, I thought.
I didn't realize how much more I had to do. I hadn't externalized the data in files. It couldn't play integrated video. There was no plot, no story, nothing but a few slides rendered in a consumer-grade 3D modeler. To call it a "game" at this point is quaint, maybe a bit amusing to me today.
I'm two days into my vacation, and I still haven't decided how to spend my time. Mostly, I've frittered away each day watching videos, surfing the 'net, and wishing I were going back to work tomorrow. Instead, I'm packing a messenger bag and a new carry-on rollaway for a 1300 mile flight tomorrow afternoon.
And I'm dreading it.
