Native Foreigner

I always feel disconnected and surreal whenever I return to the US after an international assignment. The first thing I notice is the change in sound. After three weeks in Germany, the sound and rhythm of American English sounds oddly foreign. I found this welcome on my previous trips, but this time I found myself missing the distinctive pattern of German before boarding my first flight home. Even the sound of my own voice seems oddly out of place. The second thing I notice is that my phone works. When abroad, I have three phones with me at all times. I have my personal blackberry, my work blackberry, and often I have a standard mobile native to the country. It didn't occur to me until the last week that I could pop out the SIM card from my native phone, and pop it into my work blackberry to reduce my technological baggage. My personal blackberry typically has the mobile network switched off for cost reasons. It only becomes a useful network device when entering into the range of an open Wifi access point. Once connected, it furiously downloads a backlog of emails, tweets, facebook status posts, and podcasts. The third thing is money. When I landed state-side, I stopped by a Starbucks and ordered a blended coffee drink. I baulked when I first saw the price -- 5.30 -- which I had assumed as in Euros for the moment. The cognitive dissonance was even more pronounced when I realised I could use my bank card to pay instead of putting down a pale blue five Euro note. My fingers still entangle themselves on special characters when typing on an American keyboard, expecting the needed keys to be in a different configuration. I can't say that this isn't unexpected. When I first heard I would be working on this assignment, I made the decision to open myself to the experience. Instead of fighting against the language -- or analysing it mercilessly -- I chose not to think about it. Instead of trying to translate what I heard, I would listen and pick up what I could. This unconscious method has little in the way of control, but oddly, seems to work better than anything I've tried previously. The net affect was the creation of a new headspace in which German sounded normal -- even if I didn't understand everything. Likewise, cultural artifacts like money also seemed normal. When I return to the US, this headspace persists, making my own native culture seems oddly foreign. Eventually, it'll wear off. Green money will seem the norm. The flat, monotone of an American voice will seem customary. The only problem is that I don't want to let go...