Writing Things

The novel is up to 24,000 words as of recent. I find it hard to believe that we're actually hoping to publish this thing eventually.

It has changed so much and continues to do so. The setting, the characters and the concepts are an interesting puzzle--all of it is larger than life. This is a book being written by people who grew up on videogames, anime, cyberpunk novels and tabletop roleplaying, so it has a certain tone to it.* The form it originally took, when I first got an idea for the lead viewpoint character, is not even worth describing. In addition, it was originally two seperate storylines; two of the three authors shared creative pursuits with the third. The multi-author collaboration has at times been a boon, and at others a severe liability. Lately, it's been a source of tension.

  (*"Over the top like whoah")

 The central issue is, simply, the question of publication. The amount of work put in by each of us. The mere fact that this has come up has me very close to simply pulling out, giving up on the thing--I have not yet conquered writer's block the way one member (identity here obfuscated by the appelation "Author B") has done. In point of fact I have done quite a bit of the existing work, but feel unable to match volume and speed.

I get hung up easily in the creative process. I often don't let myself write poorly, when I know it is poor. I bog myself down in exactitude of attention to details and suffer for it. I've refined my editing skills to a high degree, but still have a hard time sitting down and making words appear on the page.

I know that writing an entire chapter of "mostly crap" material is still better than not writing, so far as the goal is concerned. One can always come back and revise, even heavily. Putting this knowledge to action is very hard. If I am not already quite relaxed, I can stress myself out of trying any further, so easily it hurts. I can do it, but...it is always easy to stall until life interferes.

 I haven't stopped yet. The idea that the finished book might be unpublishable is not itself a deterrent.  Beyond that it is hard to know what to say.