Idol

When I was very little I was really in to Star Trek. I had taught myself to use the family VCR just so I could watch the few movies we had recorded off of television. One summer afternoon my brother and I were playing and I had said, "William Shatner is my idol." I was 6 or 7 at the time and lacked the experience to see the character's many faults. My mother, of course, had overheard what I had said.

She was furious. Furious. I was terribly confused; I had heard the word "idol" from another television show -- a high school drama, I think. My childhood mind had interpreted the word as "likes really much". I failed to make the connection to the concept of deification or the Old Testament story of the Golden Calf. She corrected me that God was the only thing I needed.

I forget if I was sent to my room thereafter. I may have been, although it is likely that I went there of my own accord. I remember thinking, Is it wrong to like someone lots? It was another long and solitary day thereafter. I played as silently as I could.

If I were a devout Christian and a parent -- two things I most certainly am not -- I would have taken the situation differently. The kid probably didn't even understand what the word meant. I would have shrugged it off, thinking that she'd eventually learn its meaning or find a more noble character than Captain Kirk. (We all know that Picard was the better captain.) Even if I had bristled at the statement, I would have taken the child aside and told her the biblical story. Corrections are meaningless without context.

My mother never explained why she was angry. It was another incident of thought-despotism that was common throughout my childhood.