First day without any deadline looming over my head in several months (okay, one) and of course I start it off by crying because I feel lonely.
Okay, okay, I started it off with a walk around the neighbourhood and breakfast, but then. Talked things over with one of my partners and feeling better about things for now. But since no actual circumstance is changed or readily able to be changed. So, still lonely.
Not sure there is anything to do for that unless I can somehow make some new friends. And I feel crowded enough in my life I'm not sure I even want to try and find space for more people.
One long term source of distress for me is feeling like I no longer have anything worth saying, that I can no longer contribute conversation. Partly this is probably due to my time nowadays being split between work and school and in the remainder am typically engaged in some low-effort relaxation like watching television or reading message boards, and making occasional remarks on what is going on there. Not that I think all conversation ought to be weighty and serious, but I suppose if I were able to put more focus into creative projects again I might again have more to say?
I miss myself.