I don't feel well, and haven't


Got some good news. Ultrasound collected earlier this week, no abnormalities found. Took the results to my GP and he stil believes it is something inconsequential, such as a burst blood vessel, no further investigation needed. I am still a bit unsure about, e.g., if it happens again, do I pursue investigation again? I suspect it would not be best to presume innocence of similar symptoms to a previously innocent occurrence. But still, perfectly normal thing which occasionally happens to folk and does not signify serious health issue, I am told.

Going to hope that is indeed the case.

Had an appointment with my endo in the middle of the week (told him about the bleeding issue, and will fax him a copy of my ultrasound results). In the waiting room I was approached by another trans woman, who I think wanted to offer me support and transition advice, and gave me her email address. I am feeling cautiously optimistic. It would be helpful to have an ally in this city, someone I can maybe get feedback or encouragement from. I was feeling especially fragile that day, and trying not to cry, so maybe that showed.

Tonight, I am feeling upset and hurt. Tried to make some caramel cream omelettes for everyone tonight, which requires setting the frying pan under the grill a couple of times (once to set the omelette itself, once to set the cream and caramelise the sugar). I hadn't been able to find any other pan of the right size, but when my mother saw what I was doing she insisted the handle would melt. I had made a few similar omelettes by this method previously, according to their recipes, and not had any trouble previously, but maybe she was right. We could not find any other suitable tool to cook the omelette with, so I put what I could back away and threw out the uncooked egg mixture and partially cooked omelette because I could not think what else to do with that and did not want to leave raw egg laying around.

Afterward my mother came into my room and yelled at me that I am a waster of food.

Since I have to get my HRT refilled tomorrow, I will also purchase a new carton of eggs (we had only seven left). I have also removed all of the ingredients for future cooking that I placed on the shopping list; will buy those tomorrow afternoon also. I was only putting what I needed to cook with on the family shopping list anyway at my mother's insistence. I am hurt, but at least I will not be further accused of wasting other people's food. I'd buy a new skillet with a metal handle so it can be safely used under the grill also, but my offers to buy a spice rack or electronic scale for the kitchen have already been vetoed on grounds of not having space for them.

On the bright side, my sister appreciated the birthday gifts I got for her, and Pazi helped me sort through my clothes to prune them of those that don't fit or otherwise suit me. That's a bit better, those are good things.