Mass Effect lightbulb jokes (last few are mild franchise spoilers)

 
How many turians? One to hold the bulb, four to delegate committees for the purposes of conducting a threat assessment on the new bulb. Salarians? No more than necessary! Requires a deft touch -- do it right, and the lightbulb will never know it's been changed. Simple rule, never broke it. Asari? Just one -- they're used to changing bulbs every couple of decades or so. Drell? He flips the switch. Warm light fills the room as the panel turns on. With wry humor in his voice: knives are in the second drawer. I need to file a maintenance request on the bulb, it may burn out soon...I apologize. Drell slip into memories so easily. Krogan? The lightbulb will burn out, be smashed and be changed again and again! One day, we will produce the perfect bulb, and then we will claim our destiny among the stars! Quarians? That depends on what you want me to change it into. Give me a microcontroller, hull tape and some solder, and I'll have it making precision jumps. Elcor? Not amused: Isn't this a bit formulaic? Hanar? This one humbly suggests that the light of the Enkindlers is all any sentient being truly requires. It wonders whether you would perhaps like an informational pamphlet to take home with you. Volus? I protest! You are guilty of installing the socket too far out of reach of my kind, and have not provided so much as a stepladder! Batarians? Lightbulb-changers are a blight upon the galaxy! You sir, you are a blight! Geth? We have reached consensus -- estimate 12 seperate run-times to do it as a preprogrammed task, or 1186 run-times downloaded to mobile platform in order to conceive of the task independently and carry it out. Addendum: Results hypothetical. Lightbulbs are inefficient compared to integrated platform illumination systems. Geth do not use them. Vorcha? Khrrrr, tell Gavorn we no fall for his tricks today! Reapers? YOU PROVIDE LIGHT BECAUSE WE ALLOW IT, AND YOU WILL BURN OUT BECAUSE WE DEMAND IT. Collectors? ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL. PREPARE THIS LIGHTBULB FOR ASCENSION.