Life and Blade Runner


Work has been more than exhausting as of late. The project I'm currently working on is such a huge priority for the company that we've bypassed many of the expected procedures and timetables in order to complete it. The result, for me at least, has been writing two classes cocurrently in a third of the time usuall given to create one. I've been putting in extra hours many days of the week, and donated most of my weekend to making some modicum of progress. 

This morning, my deadline is still frighteningly close. Thanks to the above effort, however, I'm more than half way done. I actually feel confident I can have the class finished in time without losing another weekend. 

Often at times like this, I remember the speech Dr. Tyrell gave to Roy in Blade Runner: "The light that burns twice as bright burns for half as long - and you have burned so very, very brightly, Roy." Does all this workaholism have an effect on the proximity of mortality? It certainly has an effect on my health, whether or not that is permanent, however, one cannot tell. 

Pazi and I have been suffering through the Midwestern heat the last two weeks. We could run the AC non-stop, but I'm concerned about the expense and, to a lesser extent, the effect on the environment. Since Pazi has returned to Minnesota from Cascadia, it's become clear to us both that this isn't the best place for her. As a result, we're considering a cross-country move to Orgeon when our lease is up. Contingent on this is having the money available. We estimate the moving costs at $3000. It's possible, but I'd rather have the money decide the issue for us rather than putting everything on a credit card. 

I worry about moving away from my 30 year home. I grew up here. I know the places and people. In moving away, I'll be in a different culture, with different weather, and far away from my small circle of friends. I worry about leaving them behind. I worry that it might signal the end for any projects on which we're collaborating. I worry about the sense of isolation that will create.