Life, dreams


My stubborn refusal to journal about anything cannot be defea--

Aw, darn it.

Life has been treating me well recently. In no particular order, there has been lots of quality time with Tess, meeting and getting along with a metamor I'd been nervous about, lunch with a friend, and Trice flying into the country. Further up the scale have been getting my first term back to school paid for, and making headway on getting student loans out of default.


Last night I dreamed I was reading a guide to the lives of people in the future (which THEIR far-future descendents had sent back in time for us to read), and the tremendous lifespans they had (150 years was considered normal, most of them hale and well as the afflictions of senescence had eased). This was attributed to their clean, yet biotically-rich living conditions and the absence of harmful substances in air, water and soil. As I looked away from the screen I held in my hand (it could project its small images directly onto the retina) a woman sat next to me, looking ancient and very depressed. She was supposed to be an ancestor of mine, though not any living relative I have met in my lifetime, and though she was old enough to have skin bronzed by a lifetime of sun and long white hair peppered with streaks of clinging gray, she and I began to talk, at once relieved and miserable. Hugging her supportively, I whispered "It's good to know that there will be happy, healthy people after..." and paused, thinking about the world we live in "...after the end of all this madness." We both cried at living in a world ravaged by poison, where people's lives were valued less than numbers on paper. I cried for her, lost and unwanted in this world and all that she had known and loved gobbled up, killed or destroyed forever -- and she for me, her great-to-the-nth granddaughter growing up in such a world, and bound to die before this wistfully-glimpsed future could come to pass.


Can't wait to see Trice. Am all nervous and apprehensive at the thought of this turning tangible. Excited also. Won't be long now.


Have decided to stop casual-swearing. Not so much mortified or inhibited as just experimenting with shifts in speech and thought, and curious about the effects of this one.