Building cross-genre erotic, part 1

Recently I posted a piece called In Sleep which seems a good illustration of what I have been trying to say about finding erotica incompatible with other genres. I labelled the story as containing 'unsolicited sex', but were those events to occur in a story of a different genre, or to actually occur, I would have labelled them rape. I think that points neatly to the source of the genre conflict I perceive in myself. The way I do it erotica is possibly a subgenre itself of speculative fiction. Not because I consistently include magical elements, but because for the stories to work they often posit characters functioning under a different social and moral / ethical framework. The conflict with other genres comes in there, because in erotic stories we have characters acting and reacting in a way that I think wouldn't quite ring true in a different story; they aren't realistic characters (or maybe a better word would be 'convincing'?) for the purposes of differently genred stories and my impression is a lot of genre fiction relies on the characters being believable or at least fitting the expectations of that genre to sell readers on the story. Oh, but there's an opening. If I can have the characters inhabiting the other conceits of the story and setting believably enough, would that be able to keep them from falling into this erotic uncanny valley I fear? I worry I am being unclear, and that probably means I do not myself understand what I am trying to say. So you get repetition while I sort myself out. Maybe there is no problem, or none that approaches insurmountable. Why, after all, should there not be stories where characters operate in a relatively bizarre social and metaphysical framework concerning what behaviours are unremarkable, or moral, not-traumatic, while at they explore strange new worlds, or fight crime, or combat an existential threat? One thing I haven't yet marked is how dependent this is on me, on my head and what's in it and how and what I write. Someone else may write different subjects and styles and have no trouble integrating that with different genres. So at least in part it seems more of a specific issue than the general way I've been talking about it so far. Okay, I think I found an explanatory approach that has clarity. Not all, but a significant fraction of the erotica I write falls into the category described in fanfic (and presumably other) communities as 'dubious consent'. For the purpose of me talking about it, that means at least one party doesn't consent to sex, or maybe even know it is happening, yet there is no trauma, it isn't treated as rape, and everything works out happily at the end. That isn't how it works in real life, unless maybe you have prior negotiation and safewords. In real life that sort of thing is rape and a pretty effective way of inducing trauma and PTSD in someone (or fantasy of the 'has magic' kind and impossible). I think it is dangerous, and akin to writing stories in which torture is an effective and safe means of obtaining information, because that sort of thing follows and feeds into misconceptions and misinformation surrounding rape and sexual assault, an area that's already confused enough in the public consciousness. That's probably why I often have difficulty reading similar things written by other people, because I need to know it is a fiction game and not something the writer believes, and why I have especial difficulty with it when it isn't of the magic-having fantasy sort. Normally when I write I try to treat what happens in the story seriously. That's the part that comes into conflict with the dub-con game, and why I'd probably need to treat erotica as a form of SF to cross it with anything else. That, and my fiction tends to be quite asexual otherwise. [abrupt post split because topic changes 'enough' here to warrant separation]