Cut

 

It's been a rough week for me. The economic downturn finally caught up with my company. Everyone, including myself has had their pay cut 20%. While I can't be certain until I see the actual checks, this will not threaten my survival. What it does do, however, is shred my savings effort all to hell.

I was hoping to save $700 a month until the end of the year. My monthly profit was $900 after budget before the cut. Now it's $300. This doesn't make it impossible, but it makes it very, very difficult. If I were to retain my surgery date, I'm certain of a shortfall. I could put it on credit, or ask Dr. Bowers about a payment plan, but neither are options I enjoy. This doesn't include the necessary prep work. Medical checkups, electrolysis, and Universe knows what else that is necessary between now and then.

The higher-ups hope that this is only a temporary measure. "Hopefully, not longer than 10 weeks," they said. We had a bad quarter half a year ago in which we didn't break even. Normally, the company bank would have loaned us operational funds to keep going, but now they're not loaning anyone. We were profitable last quarter, and have been incredibly busy this quarter, but that does little to impress upon the bank.

My manager caught how distressed I was about this. She knew I just moved, that I have college loans. She took me aside and asked if there was anything she could help. I nearly told her everything at that point. I held back enough to mention that it was a "medical procedure", that it isn't covered, that I've been working toward it since a very young age.

She wants to help, she still wants to promote me, but I can only think both of our hands are tied.

Even only after a week of being in my new place, I'm already boarding a plane for an assignment. Needless to say, my enthusiasm has completely evaporated. The assignment isn't in my comfort zone, and I'm already playing clean-up duty for one of the System Engineers. These sort of assignments nearly always turn into disasters, and with the state I'm in, I doubt I can muster more than standard hours.

*sigh*

Complicating all of this is my new roommate. Pazi arrived on Thursday bringing luggage and a highly drugged feline. If everything works out, I'll get back half of what I pay for rent and a portion of expenses every month. So much of this is still uncertain. She has to go through the approval process. It sounds like a formality, but at this point I refuse to believe anything will be easy.

I'm afraid about breaking any of the rules at my new place. I don't feel I have the credibility to infringe upon them with a mere apology. For example, no pets can stay without written approval -- something that hasn't happened at this point. Pazi can only stay as a guest for two weeks, one of which I'll be half-way across the country. It's hard to escape the fear that I'll be kicked out if any of these infractions becomes an issue.

And this isn't the only thing going through my mind.

My Aunt Kathy confirmed a suspicion I've had for most of my life. She had once heard Mom say that "They needed to make a decision when [I] was born." My Dad later refuted this, claiming it "never happened". Despite the hearsay, I have enough developmental abnormalities to raise both my own, and my Aunt Kathy's eyebrows. She's implored me to have an ultrasound, unfortunately I won't have the income to afford it.

I'm trying not to think about it too much. The thought of what might have been taken from me...