Countdown

I left work early last Friday. I had long travel day on Sunday and several critical errands to run, one of which subtle, but incredibly important.

I had been avoiding this rather small errand for months. The simple fact was that I was afraid of it. I had described it as thumbing the level of a timer in a game of chess. If I made the decision to press down, I would be committed. There would be no taking it back. Unfortunately, I couldn't wait any longer. I had to make my move.

After dropping off my messenger bag and my laptop, I printed off two documents. I filled out one of them, folded them both carefully, and rushed to the bank. The money order would cost me $5. I took it an the amount of the check out of my savings. From the bank I went to the post office. Registered mail would cost $10. Postage, insurance, and delivery confirmation would cost another $2. I handed them my debit card.

As I was leaving the building and entering the blustery winter rain,  I stopped for a moment. Did I just...? I asked myself. I couldn't let myself dwell on it for long, I had to clean my apartment, pack, and ready myself for my week long assignment in Alabama.

Today I had come home from my first day at the client frustrated. We spent all day getting user access, performing an inventory of configurations, and putting all the pieces in place for the systems migration this week. I was here on my company's dollar, and I wasn't having much luck. I had hoped to find a shorter migration path, but Support was adamant that I take the longest, more difficult way toward my goal. The overall plan had changed three times that day, and I felt I was made to look like a disorganized mess.

I dropped off my messenger bag and laptop in the hotel room, and drove off to a nearby Italian restaurant. The waiter was kind enough to ask the bartender to mix a drink (a mudslide) that wasn't on the menu. I ate my bread, my dinner salad, my drink, and barely a quarter of my entree. This was intentional, as I wanted to save it for lunch.

I felt much better at this point, the modicum of alcohol mollifying me for the moment. When I arrived at the hotel, I quickly discovered an email.

Hi Tess,
Thanks for the information. I did receive your application and deposit today! It sounds like we should at least try to get a pre-authorization. It can't hurt. Dr. Bowers will require just one letter of recommendation if you have been fulltime for over 5 years. However, the insurance company might require two.

I hope this helps, Tess. Please be in touch with further questions. You should hear from Dr. Bowers soon with a surgery date!

Thanks again,
R.

The money order I had sent Friday was a $500 deposit for my GRS. I had sent it along with an application form, and a printout of a cell-phone picture of myself. I had sent it without several key items, my HIV status, letter from two therapists. The HIV status was pointless this far out, as it needed to be provided within several weeks of the procedure. While I can have one letter suggesting GRS in my case, I had not so much as sought out a second therapist. I had argued in email, that I should be exempt due to my long standing full-time status. By my desired surgery date, it will have been over 5 years. 

I had discovered earlier last week that it may be possible to have health insurance cover at least the hospital stay of the procedure. My provider Blue Cross Blue Shield, however, has strict restrictions on GRS expenses. Everything under that domain is "subject to [their] approval". It's a cryptic enough opening to give it a try. If this works, it'll slice $7000 off of the cost.

This is actually going to happen, isn't it?