*Sunlight converted to moonlight via gallium arsenide

 

After what seems like months of wanting one, I finally gave in today and ordered a Sun Jar. It's a kind of shameless eco-toy that functions as a solar-powered lamp. Since I was first introduced to it, I've wanted one but I couldn't get over my general aversion to ordering things online and the cost. Even so, the idea of lighting my apartment in the evening with these little gadgets was just too enticing to ignore.

A few weeks ago, I had gotten it into my head to make one using a disassembled solar garden lamp and spare parts around my apartment. Had I been thinking, I would have either saved my money and bought the one I really wanted, or paid extra for a garden light that was already in a pleasing shape. Instead I bought the cheapest my hardware store could provide. I practically ruined them in disassembly and may have to abandon them altogether. They are still technically functional now, but the lighting is not nearly as effective outside of the original packaging. I nearly destroyed each solar panel assembly, and I'm astonished my clumsy desoldering didn't ruin the photoresistor. Perhaps if I'm clever I'll be able to resurrect them.

I had rationalized the purchase a gift for my recent progress on the surgery front.

I finally accomplished the goal I had set myself in March and have reached 250lbs. The nearly 300lbs I weighed on New Year's seems like fiction now.  Looking in the mirror, I don't look terribly different than I did back then. My clothing, however, tells a different story. Everything I own is now loose and baggy. A blouse I bought a year ago looks three-sizes too big for me. I skirt I love and adore will only defy the will of gravity through the use of binder clips. A pair of jeans I had bought in April (April!) now seem far too big.  I think I may have been "sirred" a few times in the last few months as a result, although neither I, nor the group issuing the offensive pronoun were paying much attention to each other at the time. Even so, I don't plan to stop until I'm past 210 -- maybe even lower if possible. I'm at 247 right now. If I get to 210, I save $500 on the surgery price...

The money situation also looks fairly positive. I believe by month's end I'll have $9000 in the bank. (There is currently $8700 in the Fund, with $300 still lingering in checking just in case.) If the quoted prices hold, I'm now at the half-way point in what I'll need to pay for the procedure.  The recent amount of travel has helped make this possible, as I am not paying living expenses for the weeks I am away. Furthermore, I have completely changed my grocery habits to make more things from scratch. The shift away from a veritable parade of Lean Cuisines toward home-made soups, chilis, and other entrees has dramatically sliced my food costs. I've also managed to reduce my caloric intake in the process, finding ways to both lose weight and extend my available food supply.

I've also suffered far fewer and less debilitating sugar crashes as of late even with the reduced intake. It was suggested to me that I should try to have two snacks a day, ideally after lunch and after dinner. While I'd rather depend on will-power, the promise of a snack is a useful trick to convince myself not to eat as much at meals. The snack itself also staves off the crashes and the debilitating lack of concentration that follows. Furthermore, I try to have only whole foods. Oranges, apples, and my newest favorite, raisins, have been surprising successes. It's been somewhat more difficult to maintain while traveling. Often, I've scrounged for granola bars or fruit packets from the breakfast counter. 

Unfortunately, it's not all that wonderful.

The clients I've been sent to the last month have really set me on edge. Both are in the midst of implementing our transaction monitoring product. A product, I might add, is notoriously complicated and testy to set up. It's not that the product itself is complicated or difficult, it's that the means by which it gathers transactional information is by its nature complicated and testy. We are, in effect, making a binary patch to the queue manager and capturing message payload in-flight. Impressing upon our clients just how complex this is more often meets with blank stares or the annoying "Do what now?" (It must be a regionalism as it seems almost rude to my Minnesotan temperament. Wouldn't a simple "What?" do?)

Complicating matters further, my current client has some fairly tight security regulations. I'm not even allowed to walk 100 meters to the restroom without being escorted. I'm not allowed to connect my laptop to their network, nor am I provided a workstation! Instead, I have to work through the two system administrators. Often, it feels I'm being constantly watched for the slightest inadequacy or lack of knowledge with the product. Unfortunately, I was brought in to this assignment to learn the product. Any credibility I had was blown away before I started. Now due to a political scuffle and some key employees leaving the company, I'm the only one available. I can't even fake competence given the nature of my access.

If work troubles weren't enough, I'm becoming convinced that my hormone therapy is no longer as effective as it was. I've noticed several unpleasant androgen vectors appearing on my body. It's nothing serious yet, but it is certainly exacerbating an already stressful situation. When I'm back in Minnesota on Monday, I'll be going into my clinic to have blood drawn and my levels checked. We haven't checked my T level for over a year as there was no concern about it before, nor was I unhappy with the HRT I was receiving. Hopefully this is just a result of losing so much weight in a scant few months.