Writing Sex Scenes

Oh dear.

The novel-in-progress has hit an interesting point: two characters have sex during the plot, and now I have a problem. The pairing is not unexpected or awkward; it's established as a point of backstory that these two have done it before. Nor are the circumstances out of line--all of it fits. The problem is, quite simply, that I blush furiously when trying to write this sort of thing. Terminology eludes me--I'm not writing porn, but euphemisms and such feel heavyhanded; a bowdlerized sex scene seems as bad as just typing out "throbbing manhood." Fade to black is always an option, but one I want to avoid. This is a very human moment in the book, and a tension breaker for the characters. They're not simply shagging; they're trying to find some sense and, ultimately, solace in the middle of a complex, messy situation.

This is further complicated for me by the fact that the characters are both male--I feel compelled *not* to gloss over the sex simply because it's queer (we hope to publish this if we can). At the same time, there's the "Queer SF" label that seems to relegate a work to the uber-niche shelves, and the fact that these characters are having gay sex is of comparitively little significance in both the world and for the author. While I have very little experience with men, sexually (and absolutely none with male-male sex), the dynamic between the two is very comfortable and easy to depict. It feels very natural, and I want to give a sense of that--they're too aggressively "butchy" for it to be a terribly tender moment, but it is intimate, and causes them both to let down some shields they carry around for most of the novel.

As it is I'm sitting here in the tea shop, embarrassed and blushing and barely able to glance at my screen as I try to decide whether or not to use the word "cock." Apparently even I can be demure.

*sighs* Having another go at it...