First attempt at reconciling story with the Ashfeather's "Entropy States" world after story conference with Pazi:
- State 1 are now the "Reincorporated States" aka (RINCS). An evolution of modern day society if the 70s energy crisis was never resolved and got worse. Consider State 2 to be radical terrorists who are now genetic freaks to destroy the ecology they depend on. State 3 is considered inhuman, and is worried about their unwillingness to recognize boundaries. Technology tends to be flashy and showy. Guns look like guns, hiptop computers have large screens with flip out or slide out controls, and communicators look like phones, held like Star Trek communicators. Very obvious and showy-off.
- State 2 is now the "Zakiri." Not so much a nation as a collection of far flug city states in a loose allegiance, but still headed by a central government. Genetically engineered to fit the environment they're in. Consider RINCS to be a relic of the old times, authoritarian empire builders. Consider State 3 dangerous due to unwillingness to recognize boundaries, or life other than State 3. Technology tends to be protected and minimal. Guns look like wands/batons. Hiptops are clamshell designed with touchscreens and minimal physical controls. Communicators are small clip on boxes that work much like the Next Generation commbadges, but are clippable anywhere. The clamshell design is a repeated cultural meme. Most everything is clamshell designed (within reason) for protection.
-- State 2's Head of State is now simply the leader of his Zakiri city, and Defense Directorate for his region. Ruthless, gets results, but understands this is not how it should be. Humanize the character, tone down overt Nixonian traits. "I'm sorry, but these are your choices, and they're GOOD CHOICES." He can be compassionate, but only when it's affordable and in his nation's interests. Drop the "Milk and Cookies" angle, as it was meant to be somewhat demeaning to Dana.
- State 3 is a culture that treats any non-specific territory for claiming resources as needed. More of a very loosely knit culture than a nation. Considered RINCS/Zakiri culture radically different enough that finding common ground isn't possible, and frankly, they don't care: "We can't talk or negotiate with them. Why bother. Take what we need."
- With the dialing down of the Defense Directorate's Nixonian attitudes, Dana's aggressiveness at first may need to be dialed up to provide adequate tension. Her ending will also change from one of "resignation to her fate as a percieved traitor" (nice, but kinda dull) to "maybe the Defense Directorate's promises of release will work out." She turns from someone mindlessly doing a job, to someone trying to excel to get home.
- Thayla will need extensive reworking. Originally designed as a blind-order-following Soviet jarhead that softens up to change the course of his country - no longer works. Perhaps Thayla is now on his first major assignemnt, going by the books, who has an institutionalized mistrust of Dana (being in RINCS, after all), that slowly softens his view? May make a more realistic politician as he learns to relate to her, he learns to relate to the RINCS.