me: How do they contact Batman during the day?
Derrick: Batphone
me: You'd think Gotham city would find itself beset with diurnal criminals.
I mean, we see Bruce Wayne doin' something with his time.
He keeps up appearances, is what I'm saying.
So, how does that work?
Derrick: Maybe he does the Spider Man thing ("oh I'm sorry attractive person, I have to awkwardly mysteriously go now!")
me: "Shit! The Daylight Doomsquad are robbing the bank!"
"Send up the B-...damn! Call the police!"
eight hours later
"I'm here, Commissioner Gordon."
"Yeah, listen. They robbed Gotham Central bank and skipped to Mexico."
brood
"Yeah. You, uh...that's not the first time this has happened, you realize."
brood
"We're gonna have to call Interpol at this rate."
brood
"I hate Interpol."
Derrick: Maybe Batman just decided if they're not in Gotham anymore they're not his problem.
me: That's the other thing.
Why the hell does anyone commit crimes in Gotham now?
Batman lives there. People know this.
How do two-bit petty thugs even get started?
Nevermind supervillains, criminal masterminds...what kind of especially thick person do you have to be to hold someone up at gunpoint in an alley in Gotham?
As opposed to say, 15 miles out of town in the suburbs?
Just move.
Sure, Metropolis has its superhero.
Derrick: Yeah I guess they could always go to... Seattle... or Moscow... or whatever.
me: Right!
Well, Seattle.
Moscow has its own underworld scene, one presumes.
Derrick: Ah right
me: But yeah. I mean, what's Batman going to do?
Derrick: Basically you just have to get to a city that isn't 1. fictional 2. big enough that comic book writers have heard of it.
me: The only time he ever leaves is like
When he's working with the Justice League.
And they tend to be more about the big, civilization-threatening catastrophes.
Maybe occasionally play a bit of geopolitics.
Y'know.
They don't go sweeping the streets of petty crime.
So just stay the hell outta Gotham.
Derrick: Yeah I have to wonder, is it a free-for-all in Gotham when he's hanging with the Justice League? Does he get home and is like "can I leave this city alone for two freaking days to save humanity?"
me: Maybe he'll get bored.
XD
I just think the criminals are encouraging Batman.
Derrick: If you think about it, it's likely that Batman has perversely led to decreased performance and training in the Gotham police force.
me: If every pickpocket, mugger, cat burglar, supervillain and organized crime syndicate got together and agreed to bog off to like, Hawaii for a couple of weeks?
Have a retreat in Maui?
Batman would hang himself.
Derrick: They could hold a Conference of Evil
me: Or at least give it up.
He'd be like
"I just know there's gotta be a crime somewhere..."
"A-HA! YOU!"
terrified little girl with puppy "Y...yes?"
"OBEY SCOOP LAWS, CRIMINAL SCUM."
terrified little girl with puppy "Y...yes?"
"OBEY SCOOP LAWS, CRIMINAL SCUM."
Derrick: Heh
me: And after he gets it out of his system, he'd go:
"Man, what the hell was I doing?!"
"I'm like, the eighth richest person in the US."
"Fuck that costume."
"I'm gonna go buy an entire swimming pool of caviar. And have sex in it. With a clone of myself."
Or whatever it is people with that much money and free time do.
Or whatever it is people with that much money and free time do.
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