Pazi's blog

Being the product of a species without Broca's
Brain or similar neurolinguistic centers, Spoken
Cat has a much simpler syntactic structure than
human languages, with a simplified grammar. Spoken
Cat is holophrasic, in that a single utterance can
convey an entire spoken sentence in human-derived
languages (particularly those of the Indo-European
family). In addition, the radically different
mouth morphology of cats means that vocalizations
have a different quality, and it can be difficult
for an untrained listener to differentiate
specific morphemes or even phonemes from the
apparent noise.
In part, this is because cats lack the consonantal
range found in even the most liquid of human
languages, and have correspondingly much greater
capacity to make vowel sounds.

Standard
orthographic methods entirely fail for
transliterating Spoken Cat into purely English
letters; in addition to the unclear distinction
between vowel types (one that clears up
substantially if using International Phonetic
Alphabet; but even this sophistication is geared
toward possible human articulation), Spoken
Cat makes considerable use of pitch (as in Chinese
languages), real-world context (as in most
languages with ostensibly "simple" grammar), idiom
(as in any tongue with a restricted vocabulary)
and syllable stress to convey additional layers of
meaning.
To further complicate matters for the would-be
interpreter, Spoken Cat has a very narrow
etymological range. Being less sentient on the
whole than humans (see Sarasti et al for
some reasons why this is not a terrible
disadvantage), domestic felines have fewer overt
reasons to refer to individuals. Feline social
relationships are not as simple as often
stereotyped, and indeed a great deal of
individuality governs every possible interaction
of pair or gestalt; however, as most of this can
be conveyed adequately without language, there was
never any need to develop a vocabulary for it.

Thus, the etymological roots of every word in
Spoken Cat are recent and obvious, for they derive
from the most pressing things in every cat's
existence: mother, interesting things, hunting and killing, and the self. Being terribly fastidious and
instinctively attentive to matters of etiquette,
any overt reference to food or the elimination
thereof is considered so gauche as to be utterly
taboo. Similar rules hold for sexual conduct, the
only exceptions being in the ritual dialect used
by female cats experiencing oestrus (and otherwise
ignored; it is considered the height of
boorishness to even speak of it).

For a mostly-
nonsentient species, this removes several rich
sources of expression that human languages rely
upon heavily for their most basic expressions of
emotion, and any metaphors associated with them.
What is left?
It can in fact be shown that most feline words
derive etymologically from "Mom!". Indeed, the
basic morpheme is often entirely unaltered in
sentences with quite different meanings (for
instance, the word written that way in clumsy
English letters could mean things as distinct as
"I want some of what you have there" to "I am
quite annoyed with the way you have picked me up
and will surely flay the hide from your arms if
you do not extricate me from my predicament,
forthwith", depending of course upon tone, vocal
stress, context and numerous other factors.

Grammar of Spoken Cat

As mentioned previously, Spoken Cat is holophrastic; however, the degree to which it expresses this attribute makes any comparable human language seem quite disunited in structure. The rule, basically unalterable, is that one vocal utterance equates to one whole thought, whether it be as simple as "I am sleepy" or as complex as "I do not quite wish to admit that I enjoy your affection, but nonetheless subtly indicate my approval so that you are moved to continue." Exceptions to this rule are not readily forthcoming; while the author admits to having no fluency in Spoken Cat herself, she does have considerable experience living with native, monolingual speakers. There is no need whatsoever for attention to word order, articles, positional modifiers, tense, case, inflection or grammatical gender of any sort.

Orthography
 

A consistent orthographic system for Spoken Cat does not exist; in addition, numerous challenges await any putative creator of same. The presence distinct voice structures in the upper, lower and middle throat defies easy human placement into the "glottal" category; likewise, the presence of nasal vowels and unique trills and plosives, as well as the corresponding lack of labial or alvaeolar articulation, make easy transcription more or less impossible. There are at least eighteen distinct vocal tones of consistent manner, though this number is disputed by some, and the position of the tongue and any throat articulation points in a word further alters the resulting vocalization. To that end, the following dictionary will attempt to transcribe cat utterances according to literal meaning, followed by a translation into their loose semantic equivalent in English.

Vocabulary

"Mom!" = "Hello!"

"Mom. Mom. Mom." = "Please give me some [of that thing you have, an oblique and childlike reference to food]."

"Moooom..." = "Please stop what you are doing."

"Mooom!" = "I am extraordinary pleased at the way you are scritching my ears."

"...mom?...mom..." = "Oh, what a surprise to be petted by you while I was sound asleep. I suppose I do not really mind."

"Moooom!" = "Put me down this instant or suffer the consequences."

"Mooooom...! Mooooom...!" = "How can you be so cruel as to shut me out of the room you are in? I will surely whither if you do not admit me passage this instant."

"Mooom...?" = "What are you doing? I wish to see."

"Mom. Mom. Mom!" = "Give me that toy you are dangling just out of reach. It is imperative you allow me to bite it at once."

"Mom?" = "Is anybody there?" / "I will now converse with you because you seem to be speaking a strange, unfeline language at me and I wish to be polite.

"Oooh." = "I see something that can surely be caught and tortured for several hours prior to killing it solely for my amusement."

Some thoughts by Kelly McCullough on one's priorities as a reader versus those as a writer.

 In summary, she lists seven categories (plot, prose, description, dialogue, character, world, and wit) and then ranks them according to her tastes as a consumer of fiction, then as an author of same. Her third list, that of a professional, was most interesting to me: I know that professional fiction writers have to make concessions for the sake of business, but beyond that her ranks in this group are based on common sense as well (i.e., your craftsmanship has to be decent, unless you're Dan Brown). 

 Not being a professional myself, I can't comment on the final grouping (though I suspect that studying it would help me in my own writing); however, here are my priority lists as a reader, and as a writer:

 Reading:

1. World
2. Prose
3. Dialogue
4. Character
5. Story/plot
6. Wit
7. Description

 Writing:

1. Character
2. World
3. Prose
4. Plot
5. Dialogue
6. Wit
7. Description

 As a consumer of fiction, I find that the setting alone can often redeem a story for me. I'm also very responsive to strong prose, regardless of individual style -- in fact, I seem to react better to very quirky, purple or disjointedly distinctive voices author voice (which also goes a long way toward explaining my taste in roleplaying games, and why independent titles like Polaris or Lacuna tickle me so). Especially if the author has a mythic bent, the prose and world can become intertwined (which also explains my love of Pratchett and Tom Holt).

 As an author, I need a strong sense of my setting (extremely detailed) or I feel lost; however, even that is fairly useless without a solid character. The top four items on that list describe the ones I struggle with most; once I have them fairly solidly, the dialogue, wit and description flow from there. I've noticed that I'm actually fairly lousy at technical descriptions, which is probably somewhat damning for a frequent writer of hard-SF; however, I can synthesize better description by working it into prose. Whether reading or writing, my imagination supplies the visual details, and I seem to extract those cues from the writing itself rather than literal descriptive paragraphs (which may be why some novels I should logically enjoy, given my tastes, fall flat because they're so hard to visualize). Plot is still a weak point for me: without a solid sense of who, where and how to word it, I seem to find it hard to confidently outline what happened...in this regard, I'm still firmly a novice. I wonder if there are any workshops I could attend.

Cleaning house today. Our neglect has turned the place into a stye, and if we want to attract a new roommate after Morgan leaves, this place needs to look like someplace a person would want to live.

--

So, in other news, I've decided that "Pazi" is now commonly-enough used to refer to me (both in person and online) that it will not merely be recognized if adopted by others, but in fact marked as the preferred mode of address. You are still quite welcome to use "Sam" (or "Samantha" as you prefer), but use of "Pazi" will be met with quiet smiles.

No, I'm not planning on changing my name legally (again). No, I haven't experienced an identity crisis and decided maybe I'm someone else after all. You're free to observe or ignore this request as desired.

In an attempt to provide some actual information about this decision, I will simply say that "Pazi" is a name I've used for a while now, in a very limited sort of context, and along with a few other names, feels self-correct in at least some situations. The name itself doesn't mean anything special, in any language I'm familiar with (though a cursory search of google suggests it's a common word or name in at least several...)

I mentioned above I have not had an identity crisis - -that's true, but my identity has been undergoing some shifts, as I find my way through the situation that's defined my existence up until fairly recently. This is simply an expression of that, and you're free to ignore it -- current naming conventions are backwards-compatible with previous editions of this self, and older editions will continue to be supported for the sake of everyone's sanity. :p

--

Getting rid of books is so difficult...these ones have followed me around for ages, and either I've never read them (and in all probability, I never will), or I no longer consider them to fit with my collection, or (most frequently) they're just not important enough to me that I want the burden of moving them around again whenever I finally leave this place. It's melancholy work, and I don't know where I'll take them yet to ensure they have good homes...

I'm thinking about university some more.

 There was a promise made to me, when I moved in with Derrick, to wipe out my debts to Portland State University and get me on more solid footing to pursue a Bachelor's degree. It was a promise he oughtn't to have made, and in a way I am glad it didn't come to pass. I think that would have pretty well realized any and all fears I had of being a parasite on him, of gaining my own resources at his cost (but without him really standing to gain anything from the expenditure). It is a big problem, to have that obstacle still present, but I would prefer it be removed in a way that does not force someone I care about to make an investment they are not really going to benefit from. Derrick and I do not wish to entangle our lives and futures that deeply together, and so I tell myself that this is for the best and concentrate on how I might serve the goal of eventually returning to school, and actually graduating this time.

 My thoughts are not well-developed at this time, nor particularly clear. I have ephemeral interests and my usual standby of wanting to pursue a degree in biology somehow; I think, looking at it further, I would also like to be attending school here in Washington if at all possible. I look at my situation, and it is this: I have unpaid student loans in deferment, poor financial stability right now, a debt that prevents university admissions (most likely) at any time in the really near future (until they are paid off; a process that could take over a year), and the need to save money for a safe living situation when my lease with Derrick comes up and we part ways. Clearly, money is at a premium, and I have already used a significant amount of financial aid. I will need to be judicious with my choice of schools, and it seems like going to school out of state (say, Minnesota if I were to move there) is going to be something of a poor option for me, in terms of both increased tuition costs and the difficulties of moving in the first place. Clearly, it is desireable to stay here if I decide to pursue a degree, and to be patient.

 By happenstance, I was in Bellingham yesterday (Derrick and I felt like making a road trip, and Bellingham is a place I hadn't seen, until recently, in far too long--despite being born there). I finagled a trip through the Western Washington University campus, and thought about the economics of attending. So far, nothing terribly specific has come to mind yet (the usual assortment of "what if" and "maybe I could" scenarios, rich in imagery but lean of substance), except to note that in addition to having several degree programs of immediate interest, WWU is also the alma mater of both my parents, and therefore I would be eligible for a scholarship through the Alumni Association that might serve me very well at this time in my life.

 Thoughts, is all it is right now. I am charmed by the recent visit and would like for the sights and sounds and sweet memories of my childhood hometown to wear off a bit before I make up my mind about whether to investigate this further. It is ever my way to see a possibility, become enchanted by the beauty of its surfaces, and decide then and there that it is what I will pursue. Knowing this, I will hold back for a few days or however long it takes for my recent visit to become a past, remembered thing.

Then we will take a good, hard look at the situation sometime soon, and see what suggests itself.

Working in consumer support for a very large, well-known company is interesting.

I've done CS in the past, as an adjunct to my duties at <The Copy Company Who Shall Remain Nameless>. It was a very different sort of experience, in part because it was only part of my many duties. The job wasn't terribly well-defined; essentially, it amounted to "Doing whatever needs done in a store with nationwide name recognition but a newly-fucked corporate culture that makes government work seem relaxing and hassle-free, where pointless bureaucratic administrivia is concerned." Half our policies contradicted the other half, and for me at least this made the work environment seem hostile rather than liberating. The customer service angle was especially difficult, because we overwhelmingly had to deal with a consumer base that was poor (or stingy if well-off), had poor or no understanding of our goods and services, and considered very complex or skill-demanding services to be utterly trivial, and therefore most of the work we did (and often us ourselves) to be beneath them. Work a shipping center with all the same problems into the back corner (far too small a space for it), and you had pure unmitigated work hell from open to close. And my first center never closed.

By contrast, my job at <Entertainment Software Company> is relatively painless. The consumer base tends to be a bit more affluent (such people are more readily-able to purchase the company's products, which run to the expensive end of casual store purchases), and that means most of them are at least a bit less paranoid about being ripped off or cheated somehow than the customers at <Copy Company Who Shall Remain Nameless>. It has been my experience, both as a poor person and with long experience dealing with others, that the desperate, oppressed and destitute often expect more hostility from the world -- which only makes sense, after all -- the middle class seems a bit less confrontational in these situations, if only because they can afford to pay our prices and money, warranties, etc are all things that involve less risk, planning, and unfamiliarity. Furthermore, while knowledge of our products may be limited (or we wouldn't get so many calls asking how to turn the <Console> on), there's a very gentle learning curve, and the company has embraced a far more "mainstream" demographic than its industry competitors have. Hence, there's expectation that we're going to get people unfamiliar with gaming in general, and that these might even constitute a majority of our consumer base.

I do still get unpleasant callers, crank calls, people trying to scam us, people convinced we're trying to scam them, paranoids, and people who Will. Not. Bleeding. Listen. To. What. I'm. Saying! Technical illiteracy seems to be the norm in this society, and fear seems to be the default response. With some callers it seems like any two familiar words, in an unfamiliar combination (for instance, "game disc" or "power cord") will almost invariably get a panicked "I don't know what this thing is, I'm not a technical genius!" The caller isn't actually listening to the words we've said--it seems like they just unconsciously vetted the compound phrase for familiarity and then chucked it out in a moment of panic. That's annoying, but then I find such a relationship to language baffling. Surely one can process some of this information for oneself? Such are the little irritations of the job, however.

The trick, I've discovered, is to work on my ability to sound in control. The callers mostly want to be pacified, and it helps that my vocal skills are very strong. However, I still stumble and stutter through the recitation sometimes; we don't work from a script, but there are suggested utterances at certain points, and at least a couple of things I repeat so often they may as well be a script. This linguistic processing chugs along just slightly ahead of my situational analysis, and means I often double back on myself in quick little ways. I always think I sound terrible when this happens, but I usually make the callers happy, or at least get their system fixed/troubles shot/issues resolved, or at least assist in getting them closer to that goal. To paraphrase Eddie Izzard, it's "sixty per cent how you look, thirty per cent how you sound, ten per cent what you say." In a phone call, that first sixty per cent gets added in to the "how you sound" column, meaning that I'm doing well so long as I'm even remotely focused and calm.

I still get nervous--I'm surrounded by people in a cubicle office environment, when I'd rather be out exploring the nearby woods, all alone. The fear that I might screw something up, or just not perform well enough (or improve fast enough), and thus get dismissed from my job is one that will probably always be present for me. However, these are tolerable concerns. I just hope, if I'm here long enough, they decide to hire me on directly. I could really use the flexibility it confers...us "associates" from the staffing company work to the mercy of our parent company.

And now, some pictures of myself, looking like an utter corporate shill in <Entertainment Software Company>'s gift-shop black hoodie (an item also required for proving Washington residency, especially in Seattle...) On my left breast, it says "Ascend to the heavenly temple" (
<Entertainment Software Company>'s name in Japanese). Draw your
own conclusions...

 Pazi - Hoodie

Ascend to the Heavenly Temple